Facebook: Cons

I am extremely unsure of my current opinions on Facebook. Incessant barrages of event invitations, page requests and the whole philosophy of selling an alter-ego to an unrelated group of people who bullied you at school, met you on holiday, or want you to go to their dire 'club nights' is a pathetic waste of time. I don't like what it has become. It can be such a useful tool for communicating with people, and the power of Facebook is without doubt monumental, and I respect that. I like the idea of being able to speak to the people that you care about, catching up on what's going on in their lives through photos, status updates and so on. Communicating.

However. The aesthetics of the way in which people present themselves on the site makes me sad:

1. 'Lets "become fans" of loads if irrelevent, frivolous everyday activities!'

Becoming a fan of 'Sleeping in' or 'Nice Texts' is definitely not going to enhance your online, pre-fabricated Facebook personality. In fact, it's just going to make you look like a total wanker. Everyone likes Payday, I mean, who doesn't? I guess it may be slightly sad that relative happiness is centred around a certain day of the month by which the time that you have sold to a group of people who have ruined your life is refunded. But whatever.

If you really need to associate yourself with these so-called 'Fan Pages' to validate your mundane, drab, vacant passions in life, then re-think why you are on the planet.

2. FARMVILLE

I do not even have a clue what it is, how it works, what on earth it entails or if there are even any rules, but there's one thing for sure: I would happily sit in a wheelie bin for the entire duration of the Christmas period , eating nothing but Snack-a-jacks, and listening to Susan Boyle's album on repeat, to see it removed from my existence. Why? Just Why? Do these people not think, when they are 'playing' Farmville, 'wait a minute, I'm probably only going to be around on this planet for 80 odd years, give or take. Shit! I'm never going to see this time again. Ever.'

Go for a walk, go and see your friends, wank yourself into a stuper, get drunk, watch Homes Under the Hammer, do anything. It's a total waste of time.

These two aspects of Facebook represent a mere fraction of my scepticism. I guess the concept of people wasting their time on meaningless activity is just something that winds me up quite considerably. It's nothing new. Everyone wastes their time these days, me included, and with a mass media orientated, overworked and infectiously consumerist society as liquid as ours, it is just made a hell of alot easier.

I'm sorry if my relatively scathing views may offend, and I am aware of the fact that 'Fan Page' memberships usually have little or no reflection on one's charm, charitability and sense of humour. Actually, that's complete bollocks. I didn't mean that.

I'm off now, to go and join the 'Punch a Ginger Day' group, because that's the kinda guy I am.

Fuck off