Time

Time is one of the very few tangible, realistic things on this planet that geniunely scares me. I panic about time alot.

I have fallen upon a couple of inspirational things recently that have made me realise why I find the concept of time so scary. Ironically, one of them is a really shit film. On Valentines Day, a couple of my housemates and I, of whom share equally stagnated sex lives, sat in the living room, moaned about stuff and half-heartedly watched Sky. We stumbled across what was not exactly Adam Sandler's finest hour, Click.

To be honest, I found it alot more harrowing than any horror movie or macabre, gruesome video on the Internet that I have ever watched. It encompasses all the things I hate about the pressure of time; getting old, losing touch with people, forgetting things, working 9-5, having responsibilities and being a bad parent. Fair enough it was stereotypically all a dream in the end, but it nevertheless upholds some strong moral philosophy.

My Dad always told me to live in the moment and not worry about things in the future, or look back on things in the past and let them get to you. As a bored, frustrated 13 year-old who couldn't wait to buy cigarettes and get a Blockbuster memebership, I took no notice. It is only recently that I have utmost respect for such advice.

I remember studying Philip Larkin for my English A level, and I remember being the only student in my class who secretly really liked it. 'Life is first boredom, then fear.' It makes me sick saying those words in my head, but it's true. You're young, you're bored, you're frustrated, you want to go out there, do things, live. Suddenly, you hit 30, you're fat, there are no more possible positions to have sex with your partner, you have 2 weeks holiday a year and you feel like you've been hit about the head with a cricket bat every time you try to replicate you're youthful binge drinking escapades.

I have always been told that life doesn't have to be like this, and I'm going to make sure that mine isn't, but for the majority of people this is what happens. When I look around my Suburban town anyway.

So yeh, anyway, I am currently reading this:



It's called Naive Super, by Erland Loe. It really stresses the importance and dangers of time, and personally, I can really relate to it. It's about a 25 year-old University student who realises that his life, in essence, has lost all meaning. After a break down, he lives in his brothers flat for two months and tries to figure out what he can do. It's as if he has reached a null and void point in his life. No direction. To be honest it makes me really worried that I will be faced with the same prospects at some point, but the fundamental solution for the un-named narrators problems is to simplify is life down to an absolute minimum, and gain control of time. It's really good. Check it out y'all.