"I'm a student and I own a Blackberry!"

Yes, that's right! The above phrase more often than not translates to "Hi everyone! I'm a massive bellend, and my parents have too much disposable income!"

Does anyone remember the episode of Peep Show where Mark gets his phone stolen? It was aired in like 2005. Remember where Mark has to ask, whilst impersonating the voice of an elderly woman; "Can I have my Blackberry back please?"

Well if you don't, this happened because the muggers were taking the piss. They were taking the piss out of the fact that because Mark owns a Blackberry, he is quite obviously a loser who spends his life moving numbers around a spreadsheet working for a credit management company.

The above circumstances are what I often associated the Blackberry with. However, since my time at University, particularly in the last year for some unknown reason, they have become really cool.

How do you even justify Blackberry ownership as a 20 year old student? As important and meaningful as it makes you feel checking your e-mails in the queue at Sainsburys or on the dance floor of Walkabout, it's completely pointless. E-mails, lets face it, are pretty shit. They are just like text messages but not as fun, and sometimes they concern subjects that are either irrelevant or generally quite futile.

But it's okay, because Blackberrys come equipped with BBM! You can instantly hammer all your other Blackberry flaunting pals with incessant barrages of short messages, whilst knowing whether or not they have been read. This results in the illumination of any paranoia/anxiety related insecurities with a fucking floodlight.

Moreover, if you have a luridly hideous one night stand with a "butterz gal" and she gets hold of your combination of numbers and letters, she has the power to make your phone physically vibrate whilst you're meditating or doing whatever you choose to rid yourself of the disturbing flashbacks:



Yeh, exactly. Not cool.

So yeh, I respect Blackberry for their attempt to overthrow the iPhone from the throne of the mobile technology industry, but there are so many things that really don't turn me on.

It's a really ugly phone! Come on. For ages they had that weird ball thing in the middle which always breaks. Aside from this the buttons are ridiculously small! How on earth does one compose an SMS message without pressing all the wrong letters? Nobody wants that.

So yeh, if you feel it necessary to jump on the bandwagon and put your BB Pin in that little box underneath your profile picture on Facebook (WANKER!) then that's fair enough. I just don't see why people don't pay a little more and get an iPhone, where you can download an app that scratches your balls or shuts your Mum up. Also, more to the point, your music and communicational facilities lie tied up in the same place, and the Internet is so much faster. You can't even peruse Facebook properly on the Blackberry, but lets face it, if that's what you use it for, you obviously fit the category of people mentioned above.

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